Why Does the Person Who Starts the Fight Never Get Blamed?

Groups do not remember who started something. They remember who was loudest at the end. The blame lands on you because of: 1) the recency effect, since the last thing that happened is what gets filed as the event 2) the peak end rule, because whoever lost composure last owns the memory of the whole thing 3) reputational momentum, since the person with the longer record of looking calm gets the benefit of the doubt automatically, without anybody deciding to give it. Reacting last is how you get named first. That is worth knowing before you react.

Say nothing for ten seconds and notice who the room looks at.